Officiants


Great news!! D. and I found an officiant. We were worried that we wouldn’t be able to find a Rabbi to perform our Friday evening ceremony. I spoke with interfaith minsters, but they were too… touchy-feely, granola-y. I also spoke with professional officiants who will perform any ceremony you want, but I just didn’t feel a connection with them.

D. and I talked about it and thought, “Hey, what the heck, why don’t we ask Rob Tannenbaum from Good for the Jews? You never know, he just might do it.” (You remember Rob, he was the comedian who sang “I’m Better Looking Than The Guy You’re Going Out With” at the proposal.) It turns out that he’d love to do it.
In Santa Clara county, anyone can be a One-Time Deputy Marriage Commissioner and conduct a wedding if you fill out a form at the Clerk-Recorder’s office and pay 80 bucks.

D. and I need to sit down and figure out the basic structure for the ceremony. It shouldn’t be hard though. We have Make Your Own Jewish Wedding and I Do: A Guide to Creating Your Own Unique Wedding Ceremony to guide us.

I’m feeling pretty darn good about the wedding…

oh poop, I just realized something. Rob is the Music Editor at Blender Magazine. I’d better bring my A-game when creating the playlist for the reception. 😉

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Last night, I had a dream that D. and I asked Jerry Seinfeld to be our officiant. We had a serious conversation while sitting at cafeteria table. I explained that one of the reasons why we really wanted him to officiate was because he has a Jewish background, and it was important for me to have a male Jewish officiant who was funny.
It’s true; I would prefer a male Jewish officiant who was funny, but I’m not going to hit up comedy clubs for officiants. I would like a Rabbi to officiate because I would like to incorporate certain aspects of a Jewish ceremony.
This dream was so bizarre because I don’t find Seinfeld to be that funny. If I could choose any professional comic to officiate, he would not be one of my top picks. D. and I had considered having Hack and Slash officiate, but their going rate is about $2500.

At Cabell’s Mill, there was a table full of wedding flyers and business cards. One of the event coordinators / location managers picked up all of this information at a recent bridal show. Along with the business cards for officiants, I found this:

Matthew Lesko

What is he doing officiating weddings? So bizarre. When you think “wedding officiant”, does your mind instantly jump to Matthew Lesko? Mine does not. Yes, I have toyed around with the ideas of having comedic swordsmen, or possiby a monster officiate the wedding, but never Matthew Lesko.