Introduction


In the May/June issue of Brides Magazine, there was a quiz to figure out what my wedding style is. I could be a Romantic, Modern, or Natural bride. The answers to the quiz questions were multiple choice. The problem was most of my answers to the questions were D) None of the above. And none of the above wasn’t a legitimate choice.

For example:
What was your dream job when you were six? A) veterinarian, B) artist, or C) princess.
Well, when I was six, I wanted to be an astronaut. At age eight, I wanted to be a lawyer. (I carried a briefcase instead of a backpack to school when I was 12.)

What is your go-to piece of jewelry? A) an onyx cocktail ring, B) gold hoops, C) a turquoise cuff.
Since I own none of the above, I would have to say my go-to accessory is my watch. I feel naked without it. It’s a beat-up leather cuff style Guess watch. This watch has been with me through thick and thin. When I went heels-over-head out of my kayak into the Potomac River, I was wearing this watch, and it still works. (Although, it did smell weird for several weeks after the dunk in the Potomac.)

You TIVO which medical TV show? A) Scrubs, B) Nip/Tuck, C) Grey’s Anatomy.
C’mon, the best medical TV show is House!

You see, not every bride fits squarely into a category, and unfortunately, the bridal industry loves categorization because it can churn out packages tailored to these pre-defined styles instead of the bride.

What kind of bride am I? I am a Lawful Neutral Human Paladin sentimental classic tomboy with quirky traditionalist leanings.

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Vendors have been chuckling when D. and I tell them our wedding date. We’re getting married on Friday, June 13th, 2008. We aren’t morbid or gothic. I tend to wear black because it makes me look thinner, not because I practice witchcraft.

Thirteen is an important number to me. I was born on the 13th (on a Thursday). My grandmother was born on a 13th. D.’s sister and his mother were both born on the 13th. Friday the 13th has never been an unlucky day for any of us. Actually, thirteens have been lucky for us. Inspired by the date of our wedding, we are going to give out traditional lucky charms: lucky rabbit’s feet, horseshoes, pennies, etc., as favors. Instead of having our guests throw rice or birdseed at the end of the wedding, they’re going to throw Lucky Charms cereal at us.

There are some benefits to having your wedding on Friday the 13th.
1. D. will be less likely to forget our anniversary.
2. It’s not a popular day to get married for traditional brides. This is good for my price and service negotiations with vendors.

In December 2005, D. (my fiance) and I attended a musical comedy show called “What I Like About Jew.” During the show, the comedian, Rob Tannenbaum, asked if any of the couples in the audience were on dates. We raised our hands, without any idea what to expect. He came down off the stage and asked how long we’ve been dating and why there wasn’t an engagement ring on my finger. D. explained that we had only been dating 6 months. At that point, Rob started singing to me “I’m Better Looking (Than the Guy You’re Going Out With).” The song was very funny and both D. and I turned red. D. is a little shy, so being the center of everyone’s attention made him a little uncomfortable.

Flash forward to December 2006, we heard that Rob Tannenbaum was back in town with his new show “Good for the Jews.” By the time we got around to buying the tickets, the show was sold out. On the day of the show, D. picked up some last minute tickets via Craigslist. We went to the venue and sat in the second row. Rob came on stage, and after a few songs, he asked the audience the same question as the year before: Were there any couples in the audience here on dates? We raised our hands again, and Rob singled us out again for embarrassment. He asked us our names and how long we’ve been dating. Then he asked D. why there wasn’t a ring on the fourth finger of my left hand. D. said, “Because I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that question.” At that point, D. pulls out the ring from his coat pocket and pops the question in front of about 150 people. Rob was not “in” on the proposal. He stood there stunned as I said yes. The audience applauded, women were crying, and I was overwhelmed. Yes, Rob went through with the act and sang “I’m Better Looking (Than the Guy You’re Going Out With)” once again. During the rest of the show, women were coming up to me with keychain flashlights to look at the ring and to congratulate me.

After the show, D. went up to Rob to apologize for derailing the show for a moment. Rob said that it was no problem; he had never had someone propose during one of his shows. Rob then asked D. what if I didn’t pick you two, what would you have done? D. replied that if we weren’t picked then it wasn’t the right moment, and he would have waited for another time. But, we were picked, it was the right moment, and our life together started the way we want our life to continue: full of laughter.

Spastic. That’s what I am. I’m creative and silly and serious and brash, but in dealing with this wedding, I’m also spastic and frantic and manic. I have over a year to pull off this wedding; I know this. But, I’m working with a limited budget ($6500) of my and my fiance’s money, and I want this wedding to reflect our personalities and actually mean something. It’s not about being a princess or having a party.

So, expect some rants and a lot of untraditional ideas.